A lot of parents struggle with teaching their non-go-getter teens to go get.
Why would you be okay with a C or not work to to get on the athletic team they want to be on? Or perhaps a teen coasts at a B and doesn’t understand why why they should push themselves when a B isn’t “bad”.
If you think about it, though, most of their life they have been programmed for “good”. They have been programmed to not be “bad” and to certainly do “right”.
As a previous teacher, I’m guilty of that. I remember teaching my kids to always do the “right thing”.
Seriously. What the heck does that mean to a middle schooler?
Half the time they probably truly don’t know what the right thing is to do and then they have so many voices telling them what is “right”. Their friends, their teachers, their parents, social media. How do they know which voice is the right voice?
Even a pastor, Francis Chan, wrote about it in one of his books. We get so caught up with teaching our kids to just be good and follow the rules that we forget to invite them to be great.
Our kids programming right now is to not be bad. Some of them, as they exercise independence and decide their friends are more important, actually believe they are bad or they want to be bad.
It’s programming. It’s beliefs. It’s years of their brain believing this is the way. This is THE WAY. Not from you. All of it – school, church, the world, sports, etc.
What I work on with them is recognizing those beliefs. Then we work on changing those beliefs. And then we use those beliefs to accept themselves for who they are and then go for the dreams written in their heart! If they don’t have dreams, we start tackling that too!
We take down the good shell and we create a great life. Full of work, wins, and failures. And they will love it. Because they are no longer trapped into not being bad.
They are invited to be great.