Yesterday, I talked about how loneliness is actually a feeling and can be cured by changing our thoughts.
So what’s one way to change them?
Write down all the thoughts you have about being lonely.
“I don’t belong.”
“I’m not invited.”
“No one understands me.”
“They think I’m weird/awkward/shy.”
As many as you can down…I call it a brain dump or a thought download. Just get it out.
Then for each statement, write an opposite statement.
“I belong to several groups – my family, my friends back in Boston, my church.”
“I am invited to other things/I invite different people to my stuff.”
“I understand me.” Or “My best friend in Idaho understands me.”
Why are we writing down the opposite?
Because our brain will look for the evidence we tell it to to look for. If I decide to think that I get “front row Jo” parking everywhere I go, I will see it happen more and more. Only because my brain is looking for evidence to support this thought.
If I decide to think that I have a wonderful husband, my brain will find all the ways that he is.
The same is true for being lonely. If we choose to think thoughts that create loneliness, our brain will go to work finding evidence for it.
If we choose to think the opposite thoughts, our brains will go to work finding evidence for that.
And the more evidence our brain collects, the more it helps support the thought which turns the thought into more of a thought groove.
And after the thought grooves is there for a while, it becomes a belief.
Beliefs are what run our brain in the background. So we want our brain to have new beliefs.
So help a brain out. Write the opposite. Look for the opposite.