It’s The Hard That Makes Things Good

What’s hard for you, friend?  

I don’t want to sound insensitive, but a lot of what we think is hard is just our minds annoyed by our daily life.  Our minds default to our jobs, being a mom, dating.  

But is it really hard or do we just automatically feel that way because we don’t want to do it? 

Our minds like to automatically complain, find the negative, and be safe even when it’s actually not that hard.  Our minds can even take things that are BORING and convince us that they’re HARD.  

What is it that pushes you outside your comfort zone hard?  Pushes you to become a better version of yourself?  

The “this feels scary as sh&*” and “I don’t know if I can do this” hard.  

It could be for some of us that it is a loved one getting an illness.  It could be getting married, dating, having a kid, or birthing a business.  

Or it could just be as simple as allowing yourself to dream.  Or committing to 3 times a week of real exercise.  

Tom Hanks says “It’s the hard that makes things good” in A League Of Their Own and it rings true in real life, not just on the field.  

I want to encourage you with that today.

Whatever you think is hard, find how it’s good.  Find how it’s pushing you to be the next best version of yourself.  

And when you know it’s hard and it’s pushing you to grow, tell yourself what I tell myself. “I can do hard things.”

Because then it’s not just “hard”.  Then it becomes “good”.  

A Quick Way To Win In Life

In my sessions with clients, often they are filled with all the things they are getting wrong in life.  Can you relate?

I know I do!  I come to my coach with all the things that I think I need “fixing”.  I have a list.

But I want to stop us all this week and I want us to do something every single day.  

I mean it.  Every day.  

Right before you go to sleep, perhaps when you’re brushing your teeth or getting that glass of water, I want you to think about all the things you did “Right” that day.  

Then write it down.  Our brains LOVE it when we write things down.  It helps us see our thinking.  

So right it down.  (See what I did there?)

I got to work on time.  I called my mom.  I ate a salad at lunch.  I did what I said I was going to do and I went for a run.  

Sometimes it might just be that you moved the clothes from the washer to the dryer on the same day.  #winning 

But get that stuff down.  Tell yourself you are doing a good job.  

It’s so easy for us focus on what we’re doing wrong, instead of what we’re doing right. 

So give yourself a high-five.  And give yourself more love this week.  You’ll be surprised how it helps you grow just as much. 

When you love yourself unconditionally, it spills over into unconditionally loving others.  

This is self-love, ya’ll.  And others love.  And unconditional love.  

It’s the “right” kind of love. 

Remember.  You’re doing a good job.  I promise.  

Much love,
Natalie

P.S. If you have ever felt like a doormat, a wallflower, “too nice”, taken advantage of, shy, or felt like you apologize too much, will you take this quick survey for me?  Click Here It’s two questions and should take 2 minutes.  Thanks!!

P.P.S.  This week, my clients and I are spending time looking at how we are creating the results we want in our life.  They will walk away with actionable steps that help them build more wins.  If you keep reading these and wondering if you could do this, the answer is yes!  You can!  I wondered too.  And I’m so glad I took a chance on myself. Email me now at nataliewilsoncoaching@gmail.com and let’s set up a time to chat about the things you want to create in your life.  

Challenge: What Would Your Future Self Say to You?

We often see people writing letters to their 10, 13, 19 year old self, but how often do we consider what our future self would say to us right now? 

I’m about to go to my coaching Mastermind, and they keep encouraging us to show up as our future self.  

This is not to make us feel bad about who we are now, but to challenge us to really think about WHO we want to BECOME. 

So who do I want to be a year from now?  Hmmm.

Let’s be honest. If we’re not growing, we’re just stagnant.  We’re not becoming a different or better version.  

But guess what?  Time is going to pass by.  You will be a year older September 11, 2020 if nothing else. 

You can either have the exact same life with the exact same routine, or you can update your version.  

You can either have an updated version that was given to you by life’s circumstances and the people in your life (and you accepted).

Or you can have an updated version that you intentionally chose.  

Either way. Your Future Self is coming.  

Who do you want to be a year from now?  

Here’s a great way to think about it. Write a letter as that person to you.  

To help you out, here is part of my letter from my future self:

Natalie – You are changing lives.  Don’t ever forget that is why you are doing this.  You want to help more women be the heroes of their own life.  For them to believe they can be the leading lady, not the best friend.  For them to let go of all the worry and people pleasing and rule-following that keeps them in a prison. For them to step out of the shadows with a strong voice. They can find love, value, and acceptance within themselves and then use it to create a career they want, a relationship they want, and friendships they want.  

Be secure and rock it.  

Go with your gut.  Always.  It’s a gift you have and it won’t lead you astray.  

Most of all realize that ‘there’ is not better than ‘right now’, but you will have evolved to become stronger, more loving, and a more involved human.  You will have created a life that will leave you skidding into heaven, which is what you want! 

Last, be full of gratitude every step of the way.  Be grateful for the Lord, for Darin, for your family, your choices, your mental health, your clients, and for you.

You did it.  You stepped out of the boat.  You stopped being a wallflower.  You shined your light for others to follow.  Way to go.  

XO – Natalie, Sept 2020

Alright y’all. It’s your turn. Who do you want to become? And what would that woman say to you right now? I’d love to hear from you and your future self!

Having Fun Yet? Questions To Help You When You’re Not

In 6th grade, my dad sat the three daughters down for an “easy” game of Risk.

For those of you who got to play things like Uno and jump on a trampoline, you may not be aware that this game involved countries going to war and losing it all in battle. Don’t be jealous.

(And in case you’re wondering, my dad was military and I’m proud that he is a Vietnam Vet.) 

As proud as I am of him, I’m not quite sure if that was the most fun my sisters and I could dream of having at that time.  I’m pretty sure my dad yelled at my sister, “You’re going to sit there and you’re going to have fun!!”  

Well, friend, we can laugh at it now, but how many of us are doing things that are “good” for us or things we “have” to do with the same point of view?  

I HAVE to.  I don’t want to.  I should do this.  I shouldn’t do that.  If I’m a good person, I need to do it.  Just muddle it through.  Just survive.

It’s an itty, bitty belief that takes something that could be enjoyable, worth it, and fun to guilt, pressure, and resentment.

It could be your workout, your food, your budget, your marriage, your work, or even your faith.

I’m ashamed to admit this, but for years, I volunteered because I thought that’s what “good people” do.  I followed the rules of society and my church.  I wanted to be liked and I didn’t want to look selfish to others or to God.  

Think about that.  

I “have” to volunteer because everyone else in my church is volunteering.  I don’t want to look selfish.  These are all the thoughts that were in my brain.

So I volunteered.  I would leave irritated that I didn’t serve in the role I wanted or didn’t meet new people or they wasted my time.  I ended up acting and being selfish. 

And I ended up not really being the “good person” I was forcing myself to be or loving the people I was supposedly volunteering to love.  

Now, I really want to think and feel love and fun when I do these things because I can.  

So now I think “I am so excited I get to learn more about this medical missions team.” I go.  I learn about it.  I leave happy to know more about the organization and having done it.  

For those of us who are the do-gooders, rule-followers and perfectionists, we can get it twisted real quick.  

Those “have to” and “shoulds” and “if I’m a good person” turn into guilt and resentment, which defeats the purpose of why we’re doing it in the first place. We’re not doing it out of love. We’re not having fun.

I’m not saying not to do all the things you want to do to be wealthy in your faith, relationships, health, and finance, i.e. go to church, call your mom, eat vegetables, feed your kids.  

What I’m saying is if it’s something you don’t want to do, but you know it will help you (or your kids/family/work), ask yourself these four questions:

  1. How can I make this fun?
  2. How can I do this out of love?
  3. How can I have fun today/this week?
  4. If I loved doing this, how would I think, feel, act? 

These four questions will help you enjoy that mental list you have in your head of what you “have” to do and may even help you choose to do it out of love or fun instead of out of resentment or guilt. 

Think about how you would show up to friends, family, and co-workers if you did more out of love or fun and less out of resentment or guilt.  

Love feels better, doesn’t it?  Fun feels good. Guilt and resentment are like little prisons we make for ourselves.

Don’t let your brain keep you there.

Email me at nataliewilsoncoaching@gmail.com and let me know how you are choosing to make things fun and do things more out of love this week. 

Let’s get started freeing you up from the guilt and resentment you feel daily. Email me to chat about working with me.

With total real love – Natalie