This past weekend, I realized I was not enjoying the process.
Not the process of dating, as I’m married, but an area of my life that I’ve been working on.
A series of unfortunate events happened between Friday night and Sunday night, and I’ll be honest. I thought, this is for the birds.
But after I did my own coaching on this, I realized that me hating the process doesn’t make the process go away.
It also doesn’t get me to my end goal faster. If anything, it slows me down.
As I was thinking about my own journey through this process, it made me think of all the clients I have who hate online dating.
They strongly believe it isn’t working. It doesn’t work. They dread it.
So here’s the key belief that got me to enjoy online dating AND what I remembered Monday morning when I had to recover from my weekend.
Consider dating to be a tunnel. The dating tunnel.
Your man is at the end of it. It’s a long, dark tunnel. You’re actually not sure how long it will take for you to walk through it.
But the tunnel is the way you get to the other side of the mountain. Where you want to be.
So every step you take, you can believe it’s not working. You can hate the tunnel. Blame the tunnel for being long, dark and cold. Make yourself depressed and miserable along the way. Maybe even give up. Have a tantrum. (“It’s not supposed to be this way/It should be easier!” – I know. I have the same thoughts) Go back.
Or you could believe it is working.
Every step gets you closer. It seems like it’s still the same dark, cold lonely tunnel with every step. Your brain will battle with you. It won’t seem like you’re any closer.
But. There WILL be light. There WILL be an end.
You could be curious along the way. Learn some new things. Laugh. Not focus on the darkness or the coldness. You could build belief and MAYBE… Enjoy it.
And then one day, you’re there.
Choosing to believe it’s working is the difference.
It’s your tunnel. You get to choose.