When I was in high school, one of my best friends – Cherina – told me that love is a decision. I forget what guy she and I were talking about and even if it was her guy or mine, but I’ve never forgotten those words.
I also remember her telling me I needed to start waxing my eyebrows.
Guess which advice I took and applied in my life for the next 20 years?
Yep, the eyebrows.
What I would pay to rewind and apply the other piece of advice!
Because ultimately, waxing my eyebrows I’m sure contributed to all the guys that asked me out over the course of my dating experiences, but it was the other advice that I finally started applying in my life that turned my dating experiences to dating to marry.
When I finally found life coaching, I learned that love – the kind that lasts a lifetime – is a head thing.
All those years, I knew that (remember Cherina?). But I didn’t apply it to my own dating experiences. I didn’t actually learn it for myself.
So what does that whole “love is a head thing” actually mean?
Relationships are simply your thoughts about another person.
Your thoughts about them will depend on your expectations of them and how well they meet those expectations.
Marriage is a relationship. Dating and love is a relationship. So therefore marriage, dating, & love are simply your thoughts about the other person.
The problem is that we have 60,000-70,000 thoughts a day. 90% of those we are not even aware of (sub-conscious).
So we’re talking about 54,000 thoughts – that you are not even aware of – that are running the love show!
Are you picking up what I’m putting down?!!
These thoughts are part of your belief system – that started as a toddler when someone had a bad day and didn’t want to hug you – and it becomes the manual for your life.
Most of us never stop to question how those beliefs are impacting our life – especially our love life.
Most of us never stop to question what it’s costing us to keep those thoughts.
I know I didn’t. Not until I found life coaching. That’s when I started learning for myself what my thoughts were costing me.
It was costing me love. It was costing me years of being with my husband. It was costing me the children I wanted.
So I did something about them. I went to work. With my head.
I now teach clients a 5 step process on how to date to marry – using their head. Cuz frankly, the eyebrow waxing didn’t work. (Nor the high heels or online profile pic or….)
Love is a head thing.