Have you been told you’re too sensitive? That you cry too much? You take things so personally? The truth is…you might have sensitive tendencies. You might even be a Highly-Sensitive Person or an Empath. Or both. But that doesn’t make you weak and it doesn’t make you wrong.
Just like any personality trait, sensitivity can be used as an excuse or it can be used for good. It can be used as a weakness or it can be used as a strength.
I want you to think back to the first time someone said you were too nice or too sensitive.
You took it personally, right? Like somehow it was a flaw. I know for years I almost felt embarrassed. It was a shaming statement. I didn’t like being either one.
But the reality was – to some degree – I was too nice and too sensitive. I was living people pleasing, being a perfectionist, and holding myself back because I didn’t think what I had to offer was good enough. I let the louder and more aggressive personalities decide things. I wasn’t sticking up for myself or my potential. I just wanted to fit in and not stand out.
And I was settling in life.
Like totally settling. I was the girl who was served the wrong meal at a restaurant and said ‘it was fine’. I didn’t want to bother anyone.
If I was willing to settle for the wrong meal at a restaurant where I knew no one and had no skin in the game, then there were other areas I was settling in. Friendships, dates, job, and money to name a few.
I had to learn to speak up. I had to learn to say no. I had to learn to express what I wanted. I had to learn what I wanted. I had to learn to be okay with people looking at me and having the spotlight on me. I had to learn to be okay with people not liking me. Which is still a struggle for me til this day.
Unfortunately, too many of us unknowingly use our sensitivity to self-sabotage. We spend so much time thinking and feeling for other people that we miss thinking and feeling for ourselves.
We get sucked into people pleasing and being perfectionists as a way to survive and navigate the world. We hide ourselves because we enjoy peace and because we’ve been shamed to thinking we were wrong for being us. And then we apologize for being sensitive.
Listen, friend. You don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to hide and you definitely don’t have to survive this world by being a people pleaser and perfectionist.
You can just be you.
Many of the things you’re doing are learned behaviors. They are the things you did to survive as a sensitive child and teen. There is a ridiculous amount of things sensitive people think, feel and do that can be transformed to strengths.
You can speak up, say no, and be okay if someone says something that is hurtful. You don’t have to let it set you back a day or a week. You don’t have to understand why everyone else is not as kind and thoughtful as you. You don’t have to hide yourself or hold back for the louder more aggressive people.
You can just be you.
That’s when the magic happens! You begin to use your sensitivity as a strength. You realize that we need more leaders that are sensitive and you can be one of them. That’s when you realize that your friend group may not be that great of friends and you get to connect with new friends on a deeper level. You stop settling!
You get to discover and live your dreams and your potential. You get to feel happy more because you’re not unhappy for everyone else.
Don’t let your sensitivity be used as an excuse or a weakness. You have the power to use it for good and as a strength. It begins with you – rewiring your brain and transforming your thoughts. You can be strong and sensitive.