How To Get Married – 7 Steps

Dating is a funny concept.  The 13 year-old girls I used to teach always told stories about the boys they were “dating”.  Dating?  Really?  I’m pretty sure your mother would shut down your phone if she found out you texted anything – remotely – suggestive.  Ba-bye.

And then you experience the college dating scene.

As you date in college, though, you’re most likely both poor and eating Ramen, and most of the time you’re still figuring out what you want “to do with your life”.  Or you’re so focused on your career path, you don’t want to be distracted by dating.  ‘Cuz who’s got time for that?

Move on to your 20s, post-college time and for many women, especially Christian women, you hope to marry in the next decade.  Surely the good Lord can provide you a husband by then.  It’s not really asking a lot.  You graduated.  You have a somewhat steady job.

And then some women move into their 30s, and the pool of men gets smaller.  It’s like you moved from the neighborhood pool to the neighborhood baby pool. Except now you share the baby pool with your friends who married and are actually having babies.

What is happening, God?  Do you know that I long for a husband and family?  Are you aware that you made a time limit on when I can have babies?!

I know each of these stages because I lived each one of them.

I met my husband at 36 and married when I was 37.  I know the lonely nights.  I know the awkward times at weddings without a date.  I know the set ups.  I know the internet dating sites.  I know what it’s like to complete the employee form or health insurance form and check the single box.  To list my old roommate as my local emergency contact.  And then start crying as soon as I get in the car.

Are any of these stages ones you can relate to?  Were any of those feelings ones that left your heart aching?  Except maybe worse?

You know you can find someone to pass the time with.  You can find someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve and someone to text when you’re lonely on a Saturday night. You can find a date to keep you busy and distract you from the loneliness.

But is that enough for you?  Is that what you really want?  Is that what you are worthy of?  Or do you want to find your forever love?  Your forever man.

I don’t know you, but I am positive you want a forever love.  You want to marry the love of your life and then pursue life passionately together.  I know, then, that passing the time is not enough. 

You are worthy of more.  You want a man who knows your worth and is willing to go to great lengths to have your love.

I hope that you also want to find God’s best for you because ultimately God’s best person for you is God’s plan for you.  He always wants you to find His best.

Since I had the challenge and gift of being single until I was 37, many people ask me how I met my husband – especially because he is so incredibly handsome, successful, and Godly.  Truly, I got a 10.  And as I look back to when I met him, I know it was after I learned these things and began the process in my own life.

Now, before I list them, please know there is no formula to finding a husband.  It is not after I do this, God will provide this.  But I do know that these 7 Steps helped set me up to find my husband – because I was ready for marriage. And they have helped my own clients be happy single and ready or their 10.

7 Steps to Marriage

  1. Love Your Self – Like Yourself, Believe in Your Worth & Value, Know Yourself, & Be Yourself
  2. Trust Yourself, Trust God/Journey, Trust Guys
  3. Create a vision for your life
  4. Become the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for
  5. Filter for Spiritual & Emotional Values, Date for Fun (Don’t make it a checklist or a chore)
  6. Take Massive Action (not passive “waiting” action)
  7. Transform the limiting beliefs & patterns holding you back

Some of you are thinking – is that it?  Those are the smart things?  I know.  I’m a type A kinda gal who would much rather have this list.

  1. Wear bright colors each day
  2. Workout three times a week
  3. Text back only after initially texted to
  4. Don’t drink more than one glass of wine on the date
  5. Find out his favorite meal and cook it
  6. Smile non-stop the first three dates
  7. Affirm him non-stop about the incredibly sweet (but tacky) gift he just gave you

That’s better, right?  You have much more control of these, and these are, by far, way easier to do.  These are all, in fact, good suggestions for you since most of them are wise for dating.  Most men want a healthy, happy good cook who is confident and not a drunk.

But the second list of things are the outcomes of the first list.

I’m here to testify that each one of these 7 steps are worth your time because they translate not just to a forever man, but to an amazing forever woman.

Admittedly, I heard some of these in my 20s and early 30s and ignored them because I thought I had them.  Some of these seemed ambiguous or hard to grasp exactly how to do.   I’ll write about the actionable steps you can do for each one to help you evaluate and reflect for your own dating life.  But for another day.

For right now, though, let me reassure you – once I started focusing on these 7 steps, I became an even better woman.

And that’s when I found my forever man.  Praise sweet baby Jesus.

The first six steps hinge on the last one. Transform the limiting beliefs, thoughts, lies, & patterns that are holding you back from doing each one of those. That is why you need a coach. To show you what is holding you back and how to accomplish the seven. If you’re ready to do this, let’s do it. Head to “Work With Me” and let’s work together.

“Don’t be a queen waiting on a king.  Be a queen busy with her kingdom until her king arrives.”  @TheClassyPeople

Struggling With Value

“Your life is valuable and full of purpose even if you don’t have kids.”  Those were the words from my friend, Lauren, after I expressed my conflicting feelings of having kids of my own at the age of 40.  It was a gentle sentence slap to my insecurity and fears.  You may be familiar with that convicting feeling.

The Old Insecurity

Lauren’s words shed a light on what was going on deep inside of me.  For years, I thought that I was less worthy of love.  Less valued because I wasn’t married.  I felt like being married was going to get me into this club where I could hang out with other marrieds and talk about married life and be valued.  I thought I was missing out.

A few years ago, I realized God designed me with unique gifts, and I was wasting them with the insecurity and the feeling of being a victim.  He worked on me, and I redesigned my life.  I became secure in knowing I was worthy and valuable, and I looked for a husband that I deserved.  Thankfully, I ended up marrying a wonderful, Godly man knowing I was worthy and valuable with or without him.  Lesson learned, right? Or not.

The New Insecurity

It seems my insecurity is now nestled in with having my own child.  Was my life full of purpose without kids?  Will I forever have to sit silent while my friends discussed naps, feedings, tantrums and then wake up out of the fog when they politely ask me how my husband is?  When I wake up at age 80 and my step-kids are doing their thing with their kids, what will I have?  Am I valuable even if I don’t have a cute family Christmas card and first day of school pics to post on social media?  Will my life be enough?  These are the thoughts that attack my insecurities and feelings of unworthiness as I consider kids.

You see, my husband and I are at somewhat of a time-ticking crossroad.  In order to have our own kids, we will need to sink a lot of time and money into the process and take a gamble.  As I contemplate the money and time, I also consider my desires to have them, my fears of not having them, and honestly, the fears of having them.  It seems like each category has its own long list.

At the moment when Lauren said that to me, I was thinking of the words of thousands of women – that being a mom gives a woman her life purpose.  And when you’re the woman without kids, and you hear it being said from all of these moms, you begin to think maybe you missed out on your purpose.

The Slap

Those are LIES my friends!  I didn’t see it either.  Not until Lauren slapped me with the truth.  She started off with her own perspective on being a mom…well…(trying to be gentle)…my life’s purpose is not to be a mom.  My purpose is to serve and love God.  Right now that comes in the shape of being a mom.  But that’s just for this window of time.  Soon, I will have another way of serving and loving him.

And that’s when she dropped the final slap.  Your life is valuable and full of purpose even if you don’t have kids. 

Oh, yes. That’s right.  I’m here to serve and love God.  He doesn’t actually say I have to be married or have kids in order to fulfill my purpose, does he?  That’s not in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, is it?

Thoughts flooded my head of how I have served and loved Him in my life.  Friends, hundreds of students, colleagues, mission trips, my husband – even my step-kids.  I am walking in His purpose.

The Purpose

My purpose is to serve and love him with what I have – what I have been given – until He calls me home.

That might be with my own kids in the future.   That might not.  Either way, I am filling the role that God gave me.

What about you?  What comes to mind when you think of the lies that cause you to doubt?

Your sentence slap might have a different ending.  Your life is valuable and full of purpose even if you don’t get that award.  Your life is valuable and full of purpose even if you are divorced.  Your life is valuable and full of purpose even if you are a stay-at-home mom and change diapers all day.  Your life is valuable and full of purpose even if you don’t get married.  Your life is valuable and full of purpose even when your kids go to college.  

The Truth

The truth is you are valuable and your life is full of purpose because you are made in the image of God.  You can serve and love Him with what you have.

My husband and I will continue to pray and weigh whether we will have children of our own (we already have two incredible teens that live with their mom).  But as I told Lauren after she slapped me, I need to make sure I believe this truth before I make the decision of not having kids or spending thousands to gamble on having one.  It is true that I will miss out on a little voice calling me momma or a little hand fitting sweetly into mine, but it is not true that my life is worth less because I don’t have them.

My life’s value does not weigh in whether or not I have my own kids.

My life’s value weighs in the God who made it.  And He is priceless.

Thanks to Lauren for her real, but gentle slap into reality.  Thank you for letting me share my heart and my lesson.  My hope is that you too will believe this truth.

True Happiness

It’s the number one thing that people want.  They want it more than money.  The pursuit of it is what the United States founding fathers left their home countries for.  And if I had the formula for true happiness, I’d be richer than Jeff Bezos.  

What I do know is the most important thing you can know about happiness – you ready?  

You will be much happier if you stop trying to pursue happiness. 

It’s true. And this is why.

When we live our lives trying to be happy about everything – our jobs, our romantic relationships, our families, and all the events that are not so happy – we are constantly disappointed.  

If something we consider not good happens, we think life has gone wrong.  It’s not supposed to be hard, sad, frustrating, or scary.  

And THAT almost always causes us to think we’re doing it wrong.  And we get even more unhappy.  On top of the already said negative emotions.  

Let’s take an example.  

I work with mostly single clients.  Most of them think they are unhappy because they’re single.  They believe that they’ll be happy if they’re in a relationship.  Some of them don’t consciously think that, but it underlies their sadness about being single.  

Unfortunately, they’ve been conditioned for two things. One that the goal in life is to be happy.  And the second goal in life is to be in love.  

If those are the two main goals in life and you need goal number two to get to goal number one, then being single would obviously make you unhappy.  You’d be constantly thinking that you’re failing at dating and relationships which only then keeps you thinking you’re failing at life.  

And who is happy when they believe they’re failing at life?  No one. 

First, happiness doesn’t lie in being married or being single or having any other goal.  If that were true, all married people would be happy or all single people would be happy.  Or all rich people would be happy. None are true.  

What it does lie in is in your thinking.  The thoughts you have about being married or being single are what’s creating that feeling of unhappiness.  Thoughts create feelings. Not circumstances.

Second, life is 50-50.  Most people don’t want to be happy about divorce or a job loss or losing a loved one.  That would make no sense.  And it might make you a sociopath.  

Accepting that life is 50-50 – that you’ll have 50% negative emotions and 50% positive emotions about the circumstances and events in life is key.  It releases you from the first goal.  Happiness is no longer the goal in life because it’s a useless goal.  It stops your resistance to the negative emotions that come up for you.  It gives you peace.  

Third, if happiness is no longer the main goal in life, then the other goals you have aren’t about making you happy either.  You don’t have to make other goals mean anything other than growth.  

Start to question why you want each goal in your life.  If being married won’t make you happy – and your partner won’t make you happy, then why do you want to be married?  And why are you unhappy single?  

Most likely it’s because you’re making being single mean something negative about yourself.  That you’re doing it wrong.  That no one likes you.  You’re boring. You’re too much.  You’re not enough.  

And those are all just thoughts that you don’t have to believe.  They’ve been conditioned from society and they simply are’t true.  

They are covering up the real reason to date and be with someone – to have fun, connect, and give love.  And they keep you from being someone who has fun, connects, and gives love.  

Thoughts are optional.  

Fourth, if happiness is no longer the main goal, then you won’t feel unhappy every time you have a negative emotion. You won’t feel like you’re failing.

You start focusing on other emotions that fuel your life. Certainty, completeness, curiousity, empowered, secure, peace, contentment. Those feelings fuel your growth and your goals.

True happiness lies in you letting go of the goal of happiness and deciding that the pursuit – the journey of the goal – is happiness.  Not because you will feel happiness the whole way, but because you are accepting the 50-50 of it the whole way.  

If this resonated with you and you want to learn how to do these four steps, go to my work with me page to apply for 1:1 coaching.  

To True Happiness

Natalie

Is Your Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Dreams?

Have you been told you’re too sensitive?  That you cry too much?  You take things so personally?  The truth is…you might have sensitive tendencies.  You might even be a Highly-Sensitive Person or an Empath. Or both. But that doesn’t make you weak and it doesn’t make you wrong.  

Just like any personality trait, sensitivity can be used as an excuse or it can be used for good.  It can be used as a weakness or it can be used as a strength.  

I want you to think back to the first time someone said you were too nice or too sensitive.  

You took it personally, right?  Like somehow it was a flaw. I know for years I almost felt embarrassed.  It was a shaming statement.  I didn’t like being either one. 

But the reality was – to some degree – I was too nice and too sensitive.  I was living people pleasing, being a perfectionist, and holding myself back because I didn’t think what I had to offer was good enough.  I let the louder and more aggressive personalities decide things.  I wasn’t sticking up for myself or my potential.  I just wanted to fit in and not stand out.

And I was settling in life.  

Like totally settling.  I was the girl who was served the wrong meal at a restaurant and said ‘it was fine’.  I didn’t want to bother anyone.  

If I was willing to settle for the wrong meal at a restaurant where I knew no one and had no skin in the game, then there were other areas I was settling in.  Friendships, dates, job, and money to name a few.  

I had to learn to speak up.  I had to learn to say no.  I had to learn to express what I wanted.  I had to learn what I wanted. I had to learn to be okay with people looking at me and having the spotlight on me.  I had to learn to be okay with people not liking me.  Which is still a struggle for me til this day.  

Unfortunately, too many of us unknowingly use our sensitivity to self-sabotage.  We spend so much time thinking and feeling for other people that we miss thinking and feeling for ourselves.  

We get sucked into people pleasing and being perfectionists as a way to survive and navigate the world.  We hide ourselves because we enjoy peace and because we’ve been shamed to thinking we were wrong for being us.  And then we apologize for being sensitive.  

Listen, friend.  You don’t have to apologize.  You don’t have to hide and you definitely don’t have to survive this world by being a people pleaser and perfectionist.  

You can just be you.  

Many of the things you’re doing are learned behaviors.  They are the things you did to survive as a sensitive child and teen.  There is a ridiculous amount of things sensitive people think, feel and do that can be transformed to strengths.  

You can speak up, say no, and be okay if someone says something that is hurtful.  You don’t have to let it set you back a day or a week.  You don’t have to understand why everyone else is not as kind and thoughtful as you.  You don’t have to hide yourself or hold back for the louder more aggressive people. 

You can just be you.  

That’s when the magic happens! You begin to use your sensitivity as a strength.  You realize that we need more leaders that are sensitive and you can be one of them.  That’s when you realize that your friend group may not be that great of friends and you get to connect with new friends on a deeper level.  You stop settling!

You get to discover and live your dreams and your potential.  You get to feel happy more because you’re not unhappy for everyone else.  

Don’t let your sensitivity be used as an excuse or a weakness.  You have the power to use it for good and as a strength.  It begins with you – rewiring your brain and transforming your thoughts. You can be strong and sensitive.

Too Scared or Too Picky?

Too Scared or Too Picky?

That’s what one of my clients asked me on our last call.

But what if it’s both?  What if she’s too picky because she’s too scared?

What if she’s not picky enough and that’s what scares her? 

Her brain stays on overdrive vacillating & trying to solve it.

The thing is…only she knows that answer.  But the way she’s trying to do it won’t work. 

She’s trying to answer the wrong question.

The better question to ask is why are you scared?  Or what would you be scared of?  What is too picky?  Who decided what was too picky?   Why do you think you are?

If there was no right answer,  what would you say?

These questions get to the heart of the problem in her mind. 

My client is also trying to answer the question from the wrong place.  Doubt.

Asking questions from doubt only leads to more doubt.  

You have to ask questions from curiosity, vulnerability,  and love.  

That’s often what I coach around. 

A lot of my clients struggle with anxiety, self-doubt, people pleasing, 2nd guessing, and being uncomfortable in relationships & life. 

Those emotions and behaviors AREN’T just “who you are”.  It’s how your brain has been trained.  

You can retrain it.  

How do I know that?  Because my clients do.  Because previous clients have done itt. Because I did it.  Because the tools I teach WORK.

So guess what?  I’m offering a new program.

Cautious to Confident in Love in 90 days

In 90 Days, you will

  • Figure out where your value, power & strength come from (not from a guy or dating)
  • Be able to make strong decisions
  • Answer the question am I too scared or too picky (& fix it!)
  • Trust your gut and act on it
  • Pick the right guys (and get rid of your bad picker)
  • Step into your strength in a relationship
  • Love your man without losing yourself
  • Own who you are & what you want
  • Commit to the love you do want
  • Love yourself more than you love people pleasing or being “nice”
  • Stop analyzing every text conversation & date
  • Get out of your head so you don’t miss an opportunity
  • Speak up and shine, not shut down 
  • Be unapologetically and authentically you
  • Say no to guys easily
  • Be comfortable with a guy pursuing you 
  • Know how to create self-confidence & confidence for any situation

What if in 90 days you could be and do all of these things? It is possible. Don’t be so cautious that you miss the opportunity to transform. 🙂

First step is to answer  a couple of questions and pick out a time for me to learn more about your story & you to learn more about coaching.  Schedule a free call here.  

What To Do About Ghosting

Alright y’all.  Ghosting is a thing.

People – friends, co-workers, guys…choose to not text you, DM you, or call you back. 

Some of us…like me…can automatically think…

  • They don’t like me anymore.
  • They don’t care. 
  • I said something wrong.

Or some version.  Am I Right?

So here are four really good tips to help you get out of that ghosting drama your mind likes to play.

  1. Decide if you want to give them a 24-48 hour, even a week, window.  If you do, then you’ll text/call them again short and sweet.  Easy breezy.  “Hey! What’s going on with you?” The shorter, the better.
  2. Decide what you want to make it mean if they don’t respond.  You could make it mean all the things I mentioned earlier – they don’t like me, I got rejected again, I said something wrong…or you can make it mean – they’re busy; they don’t like their own life; they’re not my person.  And I want to find my person.
  3. Decide what YOU want.  Do you want a friend who doesn’t remember you except when she needs something?   Do you want a guy who doesn’t text back and doesn’t want to hang out with you?  So often, we get caught up thinking about the “rejection” that we forget what we want.  Oh yeah, I don’t want that kind of guy or friend anyway.  (Doesn’t mean you hate them, just means you realize they’re not for you right now)
  4. Recognize your part & recognize them ignoring you is not emotionally healthy. Decide how you would do things differently, if you don’t like how you acted, and learn from it. That’s an emotionally healthy adult.
  5. Have gratitude.  Yep, this is like you’ve reached the summit.  To be able to see it as a blessing.  That person isn’t supposed to be in your life right now, and that’s ok.  You can be grateful that it is opening up a spot for the person that is. 

When someone doesn’t reply back, review these five tips.  It will help you get out of that mind drama.  

Self-Confidence is Three Things

Self-confidence is 3 things.

  1. The ability to trust yourself
  2. Your opinion of yourself
  3. Knowing that you can experience any emotion

If you had asked me 10 years ago, I would have said I had confidence. Confidence in my skills as a teacher or being disciplined.

But trusting my decisions? A high opinion of myself? Experiencing ANY emotion?!!! I think no.

You are not born with it. It’s a skill I’ve developed and I practice. It’s not a one and done.

I help my clients develop & practice it. Some need more help with trusting themselves and some need more help with their opinion of themselves.

But ALL need help knowing that you can experience any emotion. Which helps you embrace discomfort to get to your dreams. 💫💍👰🏻👩‍❤️‍👨👩🏻‍⚖️👩🏻‍🔬

Your self-confidence is tied to your dreams. I can help you build one to get to the other. You can schedule a call to get started here.

In the meantime, here are three books that helped me build trust in myself, increase my opinion of myself, and helped me learn more about experiencing emotions.

  1. Finding Your Own North Star by Carol Beck
  2. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud
  3. You are a Badass by Jen Sincero
  4. Untamed by Gabby
  5. Soul Detox by Craig Groeshel

I Am Here

I am here.  

I am here to admire the blue skies.   

I am here to breathe using my healthy lungs.

I am here to savor clean drinking water.   

I am here to experience the anxiety when I go to the store.

I am here to create fun memories cooking with my husband.

I am here to help my clients. 

I am here to wonder what will happen to my parents, my family, my future.

I am here to imagine all the creativity and innovation and love that will transpire from this.

I am here to fear.

I am here to love.

I am here.

I will not stop living ahead of time.  

I will take all of it.  Because I am here.   

Thankful you are here with me too.

Stay healthy & be love,

Natalie

P.S. I am grateful for you.  For you reading this.   For your heart.  Your fears.  Your life.  You are here.  Right now.  Don’t miss all this life has to offer.  

Where Your Mind Goes, Your Life Follows

It was 3 a.m. and my mind wouldn’t stop racing.  It was thinking about the friend who no longer is a friend, although she keeps me around on FB.  Basically ghosted me.  My parents who are getting older.  The coronovirus.  

I was anxious and I couldn’t stop worrying.  This lasted about 10 minutes when this thought popped in my head:

‘Where my mind goes, my feelings follow.’

Since my mind was going to all the problems and what-ifs in the world, then fear was following!  

What I tell my clients, especially younger ones, feelings are signals.  Letting you know something is happening either in your body – like food poison – or in your mind – like thoughts.  

They’re also like my dog.   Willie.  Where I go, he goes.  If I walk down the stairs,  his little tail is swinging behind me.  If I open the kitchen pantry, Willie appears.  

It’s what feelings do also.  They follow your thoughts. They appear wherever you send your mind.

More than that, though, where your mind goes, your LIFE follows.  

Your life – your money, your weight, your career, your relationships – are a result of all those 60,000 thoughts you have flying around on a daily basis. Most of us have no clue how they are running the show. We just keep going.

So here’s a chance to slow down. Where is your mind going?  Where does it go most of the day? Because that’s a great indicator of where your life will go too.  

Don’t like the track it’s on? No? Want to create a different life? A different result. Yes? Then you have the opportunity everyday too. It’s what I help my clients do every day.

As I realized that I wasn’t really anxious, I just was letting my mind focus on anxious thoughts, I let them go.  I focused on the power of knowing where my mind goes, my life follows.  

And I went to sleep.  With Willie close by.

This Wasn’t How I Thought It Would Be

I stepped into the mammogram room.  Dark, cold, and empty.   Hallow.  Kind of how I felt inside.  

It was sadness mixed with disappointment mixed with confusion.  

This wasn’t how I thought this part of my life would go.  42.  No kids.  Getting a mammogram, not an ultrasound.  It’s not that I didn’t think I’d ever have a mammogram.  I just thought I’d be a mom when I did. 

The tears sprang up.  I willed them to stay in as I listened to the nurse.

…The thing is…life is 50 – 50.  For everyone.   50% positive and 50% negative.

And what most of us do, and what I used to do, is spend the the 50% negative making it worse. We resist it, dwell in it, talk about it, worry about it, ignore it and all the while, we steal more time from the positive things in our life.

When the 50% negative comes, we act like it shouldn’t be there. 

For me, I used to swing from letting my emotions run me to shoving them in a closet somewhere, pulling up my bootstraps, and just moving on. 

Neither are healthy and neither help me become who I want to be.

So when I stumbled across LCS, I learned about this concept of 50/50.  I learned about accepting my feelings.  And I learned how to not let them control me.   

I learned how to feel them so I didn’t let it ruin my day.  I didn’t stifle them with a drink, or food, or retail therapy.  I learned that the hallow feeling is just that. A hallow feeling.

So after the doctor appointment, as I got in my car and shut the door, I just let the tears fall and I let myself feel sad and disappointed and confused.  

I thought about how I was feeling.  I thought about why I was feeling that way.  And just like that, after a few minutes, it went away.  

I let it go in a healthy way.  

A lot of women I know ignore, avoid, or resist their feelings.   They shove their feelings on a shelf so they can deal with the moment in front of them, but they never go back or learn how to manage the thoughts causing the feeling. They cling to tears, wine, food, “prayer” or their to-do list.  They feel guilt or anxiety or disappointment and turn to Facebook or cleaning the kitchen.     

That’s not what I’m talking about.   I’m talking about really feeling it, accepting it, letting it go, and then picking new thoughts and feelings.   

That’s where the power is. 

I am offering all amazing women who want to learn this same power, a free mini-coaching session.  Take 90 seconds and schedule it by clicking HERE.

You’ll learn about how to start having control over your emotions even when life isn’t how you thought it’d be.  DM me for details. 

P.S. My life is also 50% positive and THAT 50% is also not how I thought it would be. Ten years ago I didn’t imagine starting my own business, working from home, having flexible hours, being a dream dog mom, traveling with my husband, and coaching amazing women across the country. Even the thought “it’s not how I thought it’d be” goes both ways!