I Am Here

I am here.  

I am here to admire the blue skies.   

I am here to breathe using my healthy lungs.

I am here to savor clean drinking water.   

I am here to experience the anxiety when I go to the store.

I am here to create fun memories cooking with my husband.

I am here to help my clients. 

I am here to wonder what will happen to my parents, my family, my future.

I am here to imagine all the creativity and innovation and love that will transpire from this.

I am here to fear.

I am here to love.

I am here.

I will not stop living ahead of time.  

I will take all of it.  Because I am here.   

Thankful you are here with me too.

Stay healthy & be love,

Natalie

P.S. I am grateful for you.  For you reading this.   For your heart.  Your fears.  Your life.  You are here.  Right now.  Don’t miss all this life has to offer.  

Where Your Mind Goes, Your Life Follows

It was 3 a.m. and my mind wouldn’t stop racing.  It was thinking about the friend who no longer is a friend, although she keeps me around on FB.  Basically ghosted me.  My parents who are getting older.  The coronovirus.  

I was anxious and I couldn’t stop worrying.  This lasted about 10 minutes when this thought popped in my head:

‘Where my mind goes, my feelings follow.’

Since my mind was going to all the problems and what-ifs in the world, then fear was following!  

What I tell my clients, especially younger ones, feelings are signals.  Letting you know something is happening either in your body – like food poison – or in your mind – like thoughts.  

They’re also like my dog.   Willie.  Where I go, he goes.  If I walk down the stairs,  his little tail is swinging behind me.  If I open the kitchen pantry, Willie appears.  

It’s what feelings do also.  They follow your thoughts. They appear wherever you send your mind.

More than that, though, where your mind goes, your LIFE follows.  

Your life – your money, your weight, your career, your relationships – are a result of all those 60,000 thoughts you have flying around on a daily basis. Most of us have no clue how they are running the show. We just keep going.

So here’s a chance to slow down. Where is your mind going?  Where does it go most of the day? Because that’s a great indicator of where your life will go too.  

Don’t like the track it’s on? No? Want to create a different life? A different result. Yes? Then you have the opportunity everyday too. It’s what I help my clients do every day.

As I realized that I wasn’t really anxious, I just was letting my mind focus on anxious thoughts, I let them go.  I focused on the power of knowing where my mind goes, my life follows.  

And I went to sleep.  With Willie close by.

This Wasn’t How I Thought It Would Be

I stepped into the mammogram room.  Dark, cold, and empty.   Hallow.  Kind of how I felt inside.  

It was sadness mixed with disappointment mixed with confusion.  

This wasn’t how I thought this part of my life would go.  42.  No kids.  Getting a mammogram, not an ultrasound.  It’s not that I didn’t think I’d ever have a mammogram.  I just thought I’d be a mom when I did. 

The tears sprang up.  I willed them to stay in as I listened to the nurse.

…The thing is…life is 50 – 50.  For everyone.   50% positive and 50% negative.

And what most of us do, and what I used to do, is spend the the 50% negative making it worse. We resist it, dwell in it, talk about it, worry about it, ignore it and all the while, we steal more time from the positive things in our life.

When the 50% negative comes, we act like it shouldn’t be there. 

For me, I used to swing from letting my emotions run me to shoving them in a closet somewhere, pulling up my bootstraps, and just moving on. 

Neither are healthy and neither help me become who I want to be.

So when I stumbled across LCS, I learned about this concept of 50/50.  I learned about accepting my feelings.  And I learned how to not let them control me.   

I learned how to feel them so I didn’t let it ruin my day.  I didn’t stifle them with a drink, or food, or retail therapy.  I learned that the hallow feeling is just that. A hallow feeling.

So after the doctor appointment, as I got in my car and shut the door, I just let the tears fall and I let myself feel sad and disappointed and confused.  

I thought about how I was feeling.  I thought about why I was feeling that way.  And just like that, after a few minutes, it went away.  

I let it go in a healthy way.  

A lot of women I know ignore, avoid, or resist their feelings.   They shove their feelings on a shelf so they can deal with the moment in front of them, but they never go back or learn how to manage the thoughts causing the feeling. They cling to tears, wine, food, “prayer” or their to-do list.  They feel guilt or anxiety or disappointment and turn to Facebook or cleaning the kitchen.     

That’s not what I’m talking about.   I’m talking about really feeling it, accepting it, letting it go, and then picking new thoughts and feelings.   

That’s where the power is. 

I am offering all amazing women who want to learn this same power, a free mini-coaching session.  Take 90 seconds and schedule it by clicking HERE.

You’ll learn about how to start having control over your emotions even when life isn’t how you thought it’d be.  DM me for details. 

P.S. My life is also 50% positive and THAT 50% is also not how I thought it would be. Ten years ago I didn’t imagine starting my own business, working from home, having flexible hours, being a dream dog mom, traveling with my husband, and coaching amazing women across the country. Even the thought “it’s not how I thought it’d be” goes both ways!

The single step that moved me out of stuck & into forward

Everyone has a story.

Nicole grew up with an emotional roller coaster of a family that had poor communication. She had few friends & never learned real connection. She had her heart broken by a man she thought she’d marry. She kept trying to find her place in the world with a guy or career, but nothing worked. All her friends moved on without her. She could barely afford her rent & food each month.

Wendy had a better life. Her family lived comfortably and traveled all over the world. They were told how close they all were all the time. She was extremely smart and was placed in advanced classes through college. She had a line of guys calling and asking her out well into her 30s. Everywhere she went, people loved being around her. She went on to get a graduate degree, be a master of her craft, & win awards. Wendy became a leader in her field and bought a home in one of the nicest areas of her city.

Why is it that Wendy had such a great life and Nicole didn’t? Especially when they’re the same person. Yep. Nicole and Wendy are me. NW.

Each story is true. But only one helped me move forward in life.

We all have stories were telling ourselves all day long. The way authors can’t describe everything that happens to a hero changes the kind of story it is. It determines if it’s a comedy, tragedy, romance, or adventure.

If we’re all telling ourselves stories all day, then why don’t we tell the story we want to tell? Why not tell the story that fuels us forward?

This might seem like Positive Polly to you. It’s not. I’m not asking you to deny the other story. (If you focused on the negative ones, wouldn’t you be denying the positive?)

Neither story is the absolute truth but only one actually helps you.

So now what?

I want you to story tell.

Tell the story in which you, the hero, is a problem solver rather than a victim.

Imagine what Oprah could tell about her life. One that she was poor and treated poorly because of her race, or the one she makes millions and is a global star & influencer. One will keep her believing she is a victim and the other one will keep her believing she can do what she says she can do.

Here’s what you can do.

  1. Write a timeline of major events in your life.
  2. Read it & decide if it’s a positive or negative story.
  3. Rewrite it as you’re the victim, the damsel in distress, the poor soul.
  4. Rewrite it as a comedy and full of humor and laughter.
  5. Rewrite it as an adventure and you are the Wonder Woman.

You’ll see the power as you do it. Trust me. This storytelling is an effective therapeutic step to your mental and emotional freedom, personal power, and mastery of circumstances.

When I did it, I could see that I was choosing to see my circumstances as if I was a victim instead of being the hero. I saw that just by choosing to tell myself a different story, I could live a different story. Hope & freedom & grit sprouted. And I started being the kind of woman I wanted to see as the main character in my life. The hero.

And if you’re like me, you’ll also realize you’ve had the power all along, my dear. You just had to see it for yourself. (Glenda the Good Witch, Wizard of Oz)

“Most people think they’ll believe in their own potential for success when they see I; the truth is, you’ll see it the very instant you decide to believe it.” – Martha Beck.

(This exercise was originally given to me by Martha Beck, life coach extraordinaire.)

Caught Between Doing Good and Being Ambitious

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt caught between two good things when trying to make a decision. 

I know I’m not the only one.   

  • We’re not sure what to do in our relationships. (Do we break up or do we stay because they are a good person?)
  • We’re not sure what to do for our careers.
  • We’re super confused over what to eat since there are 8,000 diets out there.  
  • We’re definitely confused about how to solve even the smallest of problems.

And this is worse for those of us who are the smart, sensitive souls that want to do good in the world and want to reach for the stars, live out our dreams, and make an impact in the world. We feel off balance and caught between doing good and being ambitious.

What I have learned and what I teach my clients is this.  

Ambition doesn’t mean you have to be selfish.  

Doing good doesn’t mean you ignore who you are and you say yes to everything and everybody.  

But we let our brains believe that these two things are separate.  We let our brains stay in confusion.  

What happens when we’re confused?  The worst thing is that we waste time getting to the dreams, goals and the good we want to see in the world.

We are literally keeping ourselves from doing the good and reaching for the stars because we stay stuck in confusion.    

I was confused.  I was confused on my “niche”.  My people. 

The great thing I did, though, which I also teach my clients, is that I took action even when I was confused.  I tried out weight loss for teachers.  Then teacher burnout.  Then teen girls.  

Each one of them was almost there, but not quite.  And when I would let myself be confused, I wasted the time I could have helped more women make amazing life changes.

Who I have worked with the most and have had the greatest results are the smart, sensitive high-achieving women (and teen girls) who hold back because of their self-doubt, self-critical thoughts, worry, perfectionism, and emotions.  

The ones people say “she’s just too sensitive”.  She takes things personally.  She feels guilty a lot.  She worries a lot about others.  She doesn’t like to have attention.  She doesn’t like to be the center of attention.  She agrees with everyone.  

These women – and teen girls – dim their light.  They cover their sensitive, hard-working, big-dreaming souls in order to make sure all around them are okay.  

But they’re not okay.  

They’re tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, ignored, and empty.  

They want to speak up but they don’t know how.  

They believe they don’t deserve to be front and center.  

They don’t believe that a nice girl like them can get the corner office.  

Well, I’m here to tell them -THEY CAN.  

They can get their dreams, do-good, AND be the sensitive power that the world desperately needs.  

If you are tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, ignored, and empty, are you showing up how you want to in the world?  Are you giving your best?  

I know I wasn’t.  

I did something about it.   

When nothing changes, nothing changes.  

Here’s your chance to change.  

DM me right now or email me at nataliewilsoncoaching@gmail.com and let’s start that change.  

It’s possible to get the corner office, get the guy, and still be the smart, sensitive soul doing good in the world.  

Be Front and Centered.  

Questions To Ask To Help Your Brain Commit

The way you do one thing is the way you do anything.  That’s what my coach tells me. 

This hit me like a whiff of really strong perfume. Eyes opened!

You see, I have always done pretty well with my weight, my exercise, my finances and even my time – I could coast just above average.  A solid B+/A-.

This week, I started thinking. I ignore my alarm. I hit the snooze button. I choose to do one more thing in the ten minutes I “think” I have which creates me being late.

And if what my coach says is true, I lack commitment to my schedule, which means I also don’t commit to my financial budget or my food plan. 

Ugh. I had a bad feeling this was legit.

Yep, I “cheat” here and there with my budget and food too, and since I know how to just do enough, I fluctuate 2-4 lbs and never bounce checks.

I am technically late to things, but rarely am late to where I miss the beginning of things which don’t really “count”. “No harm done”.

Even when I was in college, I rarely studied and got a solid A-. In high school, I rarely studied, and I was top 15%, not top 5%.

Yep, this is legit.

I realize I had this thought ‘Why push myself and go ALL IN?’ I was coasting very well with little commitment and little effort.

And then I thought – What if I went ALL IN?  What if I committed to doing it 100%?  What would my results look like?  What would I create for myself?  Who would I become?  

WhenI realized this, my mind WAS BLOWN. I have been living my life coasting. From teen to 40. Not really committing to much and also not really shining. I’ve been holding myself back.

So I immediately decided my schedule was where I could really transform. Schedule my day, honor my commitments, show up for myself and others. And look out for who I am becoming!

Finishing up week one and have already blown my mind. I was EARLY to lunch with a friend. I did EVERYTHING on my schedule, down to the exact podcast I wrote I’d listen to.

ALL IN.

What about you? What if you showed up 100% in your life even if it was just ONE thing? You’d blow your mind, wouldn’t you?

Share this with your teen. Challenge them to go ALL IN in just one thing.

Why are they holding themselves back at all? Why did they pick the goal they picked? Who do they want to become as they do it? What do they want to create by going ALL IN? What do they see as the obstacles and challenges? How can they plan to overcome these?

They can start now. So can you.

Y’all. Let’s GO ALL IN. I’m going with you!