Too Scared or Too Picky?

Too Scared or Too Picky?

That’s what one of my clients asked me on our last call.

But what if it’s both?  What if she’s too picky because she’s too scared?

What if she’s not picky enough and that’s what scares her? 

Her brain stays on overdrive vacillating & trying to solve it.

The thing is…only she knows that answer.  But the way she’s trying to do it won’t work. 

She’s trying to answer the wrong question.

The better question to ask is why are you scared?  Or what would you be scared of?  What is too picky?  Who decided what was too picky?   Why do you think you are?

If there was no right answer,  what would you say?

These questions get to the heart of the problem in her mind. 

My client is also trying to answer the question from the wrong place.  Doubt.

Asking questions from doubt only leads to more doubt.  

You have to ask questions from curiosity, vulnerability,  and love.  

That’s often what I coach around. 

A lot of my clients struggle with anxiety, self-doubt, people pleasing, 2nd guessing, and being uncomfortable in relationships & life. 

Those emotions and behaviors AREN’T just “who you are”.  It’s how your brain has been trained.  

You can retrain it.  

How do I know that?  Because my clients do.  Because previous clients have done itt. Because I did it.  Because the tools I teach WORK.

So guess what?  I’m offering a new program.

Cautious to Confident in Love in 90 days

In 90 Days, you will

  • Figure out where your value, power & strength come from (not from a guy or dating)
  • Be able to make strong decisions
  • Answer the question am I too scared or too picky (& fix it!)
  • Trust your gut and act on it
  • Pick the right guys (and get rid of your bad picker)
  • Step into your strength in a relationship
  • Love your man without losing yourself
  • Own who you are & what you want
  • Commit to the love you do want
  • Love yourself more than you love people pleasing or being “nice”
  • Stop analyzing every text conversation & date
  • Get out of your head so you don’t miss an opportunity
  • Speak up and shine, not shut down 
  • Be unapologetically and authentically you
  • Say no to guys easily
  • Be comfortable with a guy pursuing you 
  • Know how to create self-confidence & confidence for any situation

What if in 90 days you could be and do all of these things? It is possible. Don’t be so cautious that you miss the opportunity to transform. 🙂

First step is to answer  a couple of questions and pick out a time for me to learn more about your story & you to learn more about coaching.  Schedule a free call here.  

Going All In – A Strategy “Willing To Lose”

So I honestly am making up the name of this strategy.  If you read this and can come up with a better name, by all means, let me know.  Until then, I’m naming it “Willing To Lose”.  

My coach has this great example of proving whether or not her clients are believing that they are really going to make their goal happen, that they are 100% all in.  

Let’s go with a weight goal – losing 6 lbs this month.  Just a tad outside my comfort zone but not ridiculously out of the question.  

I’m going to have the belief: Oh, yeah, I’m going to lose 6 lbs this month.  No problem.  

My actions are that I’m eating bread once a week, no sugar, and exercising twice a week.  

And after two weeks, I only lose two pounds.  

I start panicking or thinking I’m doing something wrong or wasting my time.  

At this point, I’m completely doubting whether or not I’m going to hit my goal.  

My coach will say to me – are you willing to pay me $10,000 if you don’t hit your goal?  

And because I’m doubting, I’m not willing to lose $10,000 so I am going to say ‘HAIL’ no.  

I’m not really all in.  I’m full of doubt and fear, not determination and focus.  

Do you see this?

A person who is ALL IN is going to say – yes.  I am going to to do whatever it takes to lose the other four pounds.  This is possible.  It is happening.  I can say yes I’ll pay you because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am going to show up for myself.  I am going to make it happen.  I am not willing to lose.

What is your goal?  Like a specific real goal.  

Are you willing to pay me $10,000 if you don’t hit it? Don’t play not to lose. Play to win.

Old You vs. New You

The old is gone and the new has come.  What parts of the old you are you still leaning on?  

Old me:  Oh, I’ll just take my time and wonder around for a while, read all the signs and directions; google all the possible disasters.   

New me: That’s where I’m headed. Running the whole way.  This is happening.

I am the daughter of the King.  I serve a mighty God who will move Heaven and Earth for me to run after what He has called me to do. 

I will run, not half-jog, in this journey with desire, love, and excitement. 

It is fear that keeps me alive, but it will not be fear that holds me back.  

It is always love.  Love for myself, love for others, and love for our God.  

Now, I am looking for moms and dads who want to know more about how to light the fire under their teen’s you know what and get them to not hold back.  I have a quick 10 minute virtual training next Tuesday, the 23rd for parents at 11am.  

After the session, you’ll also get the three short videos I made for your teens – How To Get Moving, How To Get Motivated, & How To Get Mentally Strong.  Those will be sent to anyone who signs up for the session.  

The videos alone are life changing for your teens. I can’t wait to help them change their year and their life!

Register here until July 22nd!

Questions To Ask To Help Your Brain Commit

The way you do one thing is the way you do anything.  That’s what my coach tells me. 

This hit me like a whiff of really strong perfume. Eyes opened!

You see, I have always done pretty well with my weight, my exercise, my finances and even my time – I could coast just above average.  A solid B+/A-.

This week, I started thinking. I ignore my alarm. I hit the snooze button. I choose to do one more thing in the ten minutes I “think” I have which creates me being late.

And if what my coach says is true, I lack commitment to my schedule, which means I also don’t commit to my financial budget or my food plan. 

Ugh. I had a bad feeling this was legit.

Yep, I “cheat” here and there with my budget and food too, and since I know how to just do enough, I fluctuate 2-4 lbs and never bounce checks.

I am technically late to things, but rarely am late to where I miss the beginning of things which don’t really “count”. “No harm done”.

Even when I was in college, I rarely studied and got a solid A-. In high school, I rarely studied, and I was top 15%, not top 5%.

Yep, this is legit.

I realize I had this thought ‘Why push myself and go ALL IN?’ I was coasting very well with little commitment and little effort.

And then I thought – What if I went ALL IN?  What if I committed to doing it 100%?  What would my results look like?  What would I create for myself?  Who would I become?  

WhenI realized this, my mind WAS BLOWN. I have been living my life coasting. From teen to 40. Not really committing to much and also not really shining. I’ve been holding myself back.

So I immediately decided my schedule was where I could really transform. Schedule my day, honor my commitments, show up for myself and others. And look out for who I am becoming!

Finishing up week one and have already blown my mind. I was EARLY to lunch with a friend. I did EVERYTHING on my schedule, down to the exact podcast I wrote I’d listen to.

ALL IN.

What about you? What if you showed up 100% in your life even if it was just ONE thing? You’d blow your mind, wouldn’t you?

Share this with your teen. Challenge them to go ALL IN in just one thing.

Why are they holding themselves back at all? Why did they pick the goal they picked? Who do they want to become as they do it? What do they want to create by going ALL IN? What do they see as the obstacles and challenges? How can they plan to overcome these?

They can start now. So can you.

Y’all. Let’s GO ALL IN. I’m going with you!