Loving Your Life In The Meantime

We’ve all had times in our life when it seems as if nothing is going right, God is absent, and you’re waiting for something to change.

If there’s anything I’ve learned through recessions, heartbreaks, loneliness, and career turmoil, I’ve learned that I always have the choice to love my life in the meantime. Right now. As it is. With all of it’s messiness.

In fact, I’d go so far to say that as I learned to love my life as it is, I started figuring out the life I wanted to have. And things started happening that got me the life I wanted. Things started to change.

So I have four things you can do to love your life in the meantime. I’m not going to say while you wait because to me, that means you sit around waiting for someone to give you what you want. Like you’re waiting for it to happen to you. Your life doesn’t happen to you. But that’s for another post…

Be Grateful

Being grateful is the most important and powerful way to start loving your life. Write a list every day. Think it & feel it. Be grateful for what you DO have. And be grateful for what is to come. For the future life you are making. For the prayers to be answered. There’s absolutely no harm in being grateful ahead of time. It’s practicing belief.

Own Your Life

Owning your life is super empowering. You also start to see how it can change. When you take 100% ownership and responsibility for where you’re at, you begin to see how you’re responsible for creating it. I’m not talking about being let go from a job or being broken up with. But you can own your response to these things. Are you choosing to dwell in the past? Are you choosing to think negatively about your old work or your future options? Did you choose guys that you know aren’t long-term material? Did you choose a guy who walked all over you? As you own your life and your choices, you can begin to accept it and love it for what it is. (Doesn’t mean you don’t change it though!)

Make a List

Make a list of all the things you can control. Then make a list of all the things you can’t. Why? Because some of us need to be reminded we can’t control the Coronavirus. But we can control how often we wash our hands, our mindset, our feelings. Most of us have more control than we think. I know I stayed in a job for years thinking it was out of my control. I used God as a scapegoat. Once I realized I had a major part in my life, I had the courage to switch careers. Knowing what you can and cannot control is super empowering and something else to be grateful for!

Write a story

Write a story of your life where you are the leading lady, the hero. That means you have to force your brain to see all good things and how could be the hero of it. Then write (or add chapters) the story of you being the leading lady of right now and her future. How does she show up in today’s current circumstances? What does she think about herself? What does she decide to change in her life? What does she keep? Really write a story where you show up right now as the leading lady. Because you are.

Loving your life does not always mean you love everything about it. It doesn’t even mean that you love all the things in it – your travel, parties, job.

It’s about loving what is. Unconditional love. And from that, being empowered to make the changes you do want.

This Wasn’t How I Thought It Would Be

I stepped into the mammogram room.  Dark, cold, and empty.   Hallow.  Kind of how I felt inside.  

It was sadness mixed with disappointment mixed with confusion.  

This wasn’t how I thought this part of my life would go.  42.  No kids.  Getting a mammogram, not an ultrasound.  It’s not that I didn’t think I’d ever have a mammogram.  I just thought I’d be a mom when I did. 

The tears sprang up.  I willed them to stay in as I listened to the nurse.

…The thing is…life is 50 – 50.  For everyone.   50% positive and 50% negative.

And what most of us do, and what I used to do, is spend the the 50% negative making it worse. We resist it, dwell in it, talk about it, worry about it, ignore it and all the while, we steal more time from the positive things in our life.

When the 50% negative comes, we act like it shouldn’t be there. 

For me, I used to swing from letting my emotions run me to shoving them in a closet somewhere, pulling up my bootstraps, and just moving on. 

Neither are healthy and neither help me become who I want to be.

So when I stumbled across LCS, I learned about this concept of 50/50.  I learned about accepting my feelings.  And I learned how to not let them control me.   

I learned how to feel them so I didn’t let it ruin my day.  I didn’t stifle them with a drink, or food, or retail therapy.  I learned that the hallow feeling is just that. A hallow feeling.

So after the doctor appointment, as I got in my car and shut the door, I just let the tears fall and I let myself feel sad and disappointed and confused.  

I thought about how I was feeling.  I thought about why I was feeling that way.  And just like that, after a few minutes, it went away.  

I let it go in a healthy way.  

A lot of women I know ignore, avoid, or resist their feelings.   They shove their feelings on a shelf so they can deal with the moment in front of them, but they never go back or learn how to manage the thoughts causing the feeling. They cling to tears, wine, food, “prayer” or their to-do list.  They feel guilt or anxiety or disappointment and turn to Facebook or cleaning the kitchen.     

That’s not what I’m talking about.   I’m talking about really feeling it, accepting it, letting it go, and then picking new thoughts and feelings.   

That’s where the power is. 

I am offering all amazing women who want to learn this same power, a free mini-coaching session.  Take 90 seconds and schedule it by clicking HERE.

You’ll learn about how to start having control over your emotions even when life isn’t how you thought it’d be.  DM me for details. 

P.S. My life is also 50% positive and THAT 50% is also not how I thought it would be. Ten years ago I didn’t imagine starting my own business, working from home, having flexible hours, being a dream dog mom, traveling with my husband, and coaching amazing women across the country. Even the thought “it’s not how I thought it’d be” goes both ways!