Where Your Mind Goes, Your Life Follows

It was 3 a.m. and my mind wouldn’t stop racing.  It was thinking about the friend who no longer is a friend, although she keeps me around on FB.  Basically ghosted me.  My parents who are getting older.  The coronovirus.  

I was anxious and I couldn’t stop worrying.  This lasted about 10 minutes when this thought popped in my head:

‘Where my mind goes, my feelings follow.’

Since my mind was going to all the problems and what-ifs in the world, then fear was following!  

What I tell my clients, especially younger ones, feelings are signals.  Letting you know something is happening either in your body – like food poison – or in your mind – like thoughts.  

They’re also like my dog.   Willie.  Where I go, he goes.  If I walk down the stairs,  his little tail is swinging behind me.  If I open the kitchen pantry, Willie appears.  

It’s what feelings do also.  They follow your thoughts. They appear wherever you send your mind.

More than that, though, where your mind goes, your LIFE follows.  

Your life – your money, your weight, your career, your relationships – are a result of all those 60,000 thoughts you have flying around on a daily basis. Most of us have no clue how they are running the show. We just keep going.

So here’s a chance to slow down. Where is your mind going?  Where does it go most of the day? Because that’s a great indicator of where your life will go too.  

Don’t like the track it’s on? No? Want to create a different life? A different result. Yes? Then you have the opportunity everyday too. It’s what I help my clients do every day.

As I realized that I wasn’t really anxious, I just was letting my mind focus on anxious thoughts, I let them go.  I focused on the power of knowing where my mind goes, my life follows.  

And I went to sleep.  With Willie close by.

Fighting The Fear

A previous client of mine wrote this to me today and it was so good, I had to share…

‘Whoa!!!!! I’m fighting the fear today. All the reasons why it won’t work are sitting at the bottom of my stomach!! I woke up so nervous that I don’t know what I’m doing!

What a trip to listen to you and Brooke tell me I was going to fight this and not want to “leave the cave” “make excuses because I think it may harm me.” Thank goodness I was warned about all of these feelings!

It’s so helpful knowing it’s normal and that even though I’m feeling all that nothing is more damaging than not doing it!! I haven’t quite turned off the voices shaming me yet, but I’m determined to not let them stop me. Thinking of you and your brave leap…’

Pretty freaking awesome, right? On so many levels! She is GOING for a dream of hers. She is fighting the fear AND she knows this is totally normal. It does not mean retreat and run for the hills.

My favorite part is when she says “I’m determined to not let them stop me.” Boom.

What if you believed that? With whatever it is that is your goal. Weight, finances, career, relationship dreams. I am determined to not let them stop me.

Fight the fear.

How Fear Of Rejection Lost

My favorite week of the year just happened.  My step-kids came and went.  On the last day as  they were packing up the car to go, I got more and more nervous.  Were they going to let me hug them?  Would they say good-bye?  Should I say I love you to them now or together as they leave or what?  

I feared being rejected by them before they had the chance to reject me.  

And in my fear, I said nothing.  I let them walk out with just a hug, a thank you, and a wave.  

Then I sat on my couch and cried.  I cried because they were gone, yes.  But I also cried because I let my fear win.  I rejected myself before they had the chance to. 

What’s crazy about the fear of rejection, too, is that the fear is what was making the rejection so much worse.  The anticipation of it. Like a shot at the doctor.

What’s awesome, though, is I knew it.  I was at least aware this time.

I sat there crying and I KNEW it.  I knew what I had done, what I was avoiding, and I was NOT going to let fear win completely.  

I practiced allowing the fear. I felt the tears, my heart in my throat, my clammy hands.  I felt the fear and the rejection for a good two minutes.

And then I moved on.  

I wanted to love them. I wanted to show up loving them.  I wanted to love myself.  They don’t get to decide any of those things.

Even if they don’t return the I love you, I can still love them.  

My love for them doesn’t rest on them returning their love for me.   

So I picked up my phone, and I texted.  “I miss you already.  I love you lots.  Heart.” One to Drew and one to Mara.  

One texted me back with an I love you. One did not.  

At this point, I could control my thoughts, and I didn’t take it personal.  

It doesn’t matter if they returned the I love you.  I loved them and myself enough to do it.  I love greatly, so I had to risk greatly.  And sometimes that means for myself too.  

Stop Fear – Using ‘What If’ To Help

Our brains are wired to keep us safe.  When we have to make a decision, it pops up with a lot of questions.  

What if it doesn’t work out?  What if I fail?  What if no one likes it?  What if I can’t do it?  

90% of our fears are tied in these negative imaginative scenarios.  

We never are asking “what if that bear eats me?”  “what if I can’t find food tonight for dinner?”  “what if my pack leaves and I get eaten by wolves?”  

Those are the questions your brain is created to ask to cause fear to cause you to fight or flight.  Thank you, Lord.  I don’t want to be eaten by bears. Or wolves.

But do you you see what is happening?  90% of your fears are a result of poor management of the mind.  

Fear – real fear – isn’t keeping you back, your mind is.  

Those What If Scenarios as they are happening right now aren’t helping you AT ALL.  

The first step to start flipping that pattern is that you must become aware of the thought patterns tied to your worry, fear, and anxiety.  That’s the first few weeks of work I do with my clients.  

Once you start becoming aware of how your thought patterns are interrupting your goals and forward action, the second step is you start learning to replace the thoughts. 

We switch the negative What If Scenarios for positive ones.  

What if I nail it?  What if I win?  What if I lose the weight? What if I hit my goal?  What if I love it?  What if everyone loves it?  What if it’s the best thing I’ve ever done?

Those will actually serve you.  They’ll inspire you. Inspire you to work, to try, to create, and to live.  

Those questions help you create what is possible instead of shutting down and staying stuck. 

For some thoughts, flipping them is just like flipping a switch.   For others, it takes time to create that new pattern.  

Either way, it’s worth it.  It’s worth the time and effort to stop living stuck and in fear and start living with inspiration.  

So friends, following up what I wrote yesterday – What if I went ALL IN?  I challenge you to start using What If Scenarios to serve you!