Where Your Mind Goes, Your Life Follows

It was 3 a.m. and my mind wouldn’t stop racing.  It was thinking about the friend who no longer is a friend, although she keeps me around on FB.  Basically ghosted me.  My parents who are getting older.  The coronovirus.  

I was anxious and I couldn’t stop worrying.  This lasted about 10 minutes when this thought popped in my head:

‘Where my mind goes, my feelings follow.’

Since my mind was going to all the problems and what-ifs in the world, then fear was following!  

What I tell my clients, especially younger ones, feelings are signals.  Letting you know something is happening either in your body – like food poison – or in your mind – like thoughts.  

They’re also like my dog.   Willie.  Where I go, he goes.  If I walk down the stairs,  his little tail is swinging behind me.  If I open the kitchen pantry, Willie appears.  

It’s what feelings do also.  They follow your thoughts. They appear wherever you send your mind.

More than that, though, where your mind goes, your LIFE follows.  

Your life – your money, your weight, your career, your relationships – are a result of all those 60,000 thoughts you have flying around on a daily basis. Most of us have no clue how they are running the show. We just keep going.

So here’s a chance to slow down. Where is your mind going?  Where does it go most of the day? Because that’s a great indicator of where your life will go too.  

Don’t like the track it’s on? No? Want to create a different life? A different result. Yes? Then you have the opportunity everyday too. It’s what I help my clients do every day.

As I realized that I wasn’t really anxious, I just was letting my mind focus on anxious thoughts, I let them go.  I focused on the power of knowing where my mind goes, my life follows.  

And I went to sleep.  With Willie close by.

The Not-So-Sexy Secret To Love

Spoiler Alert!! What I’m about to tell you is NOT sexy.  It’s not glamorous. 

But it will help you find and stay in love.  Would you rather know sexy or would you rather know the secret?   

That’s what I thought. 

It’s the difference between anger and happiness.  Years of marriage or divorce.  

……..Love…… is a feeling. 

This doesn’t sound shocking to any of you, I know.  Keep reading.  That’s not the secret. 

There are some chemical reactions that create a love-type feeling, but those chemical reactions aren’t long lasting.  That’s attraction.  It comes and goes.   

I.e. When I looked at my husband for the first time, everything in me screamed Hotty McHotty!  All my chemicals were reacting! (I can still look at him and think this, actually)

But in the end, my attraction to him was not why I married him.  I married him because I felt love towards him.  Because I wanted to love him for the rest of my life.  

When you’re dating, you’re looking for the chemical reaction.  You’re wanting the guy to do something to cause you to fall in love.  And when it doesn’t happen, you decide the guy isn’t your person.  

When you’re married, you’re looking for the chemical reaction and for him to do something to cause you to feel love. And when it doesn’t, you decide the guy isn’t your person anymore.

This is where we go wrong, ladies!  This is where we throw the baby out with the bath water.  Listen up!

Love is a feeling…that another person doesn’t cause. 

Who causes it then? You do. 

It’s a feeling created by your thoughts.  

Not only is this scientifically true, but it’s personally-in-my-life true.  

Look at it this way.  If love was caused by the other person,  all marriages would eventually end because they’re depending on the other person to make them feel love every day. And because we’re humans and we can’t control our person, one of those days we will not feel love.  Maybe even several days. Or months.  

That means ALL marriages would end in divorce.  🙂  

Still not with me?  Let’s look at it another way.

In the past two weeks, I met a woman engaged to a guy who she said she just wasn’t attracted to at the beginning.  They remained friends for months and then one day, she wanted more.  

Nothing changed about him.  Her thoughts changed. 

And another friend of mine, who has been married for over a decade, told me that when she married her husband, she wasn’t that attracted to him!  She knew he was a good man and she loved him.  Now she’s attracted to him more than the day they got married.  

She loved him then and she loves him now.  

How did that happen?   Because her thoughts created the love she feels for him.   It wasn’t the attraction.  It wasn’t him.  

Yes,  love has a chemical component and yes, love is a verb.  

But the most important component – the one that you have complete control over – is that love is an emotion created by your mind.  

I know this isn’t as romantic as Cinderella or all the rom-coms.  It’s not poetic.  It will not be on the cover of Cosmo.  

But it’s the key to helping you find love.  Because it’s all in your hands.  Or, really, your mind. 

If you want to know more about this and learn more about how you can have more love in your life, connect with me here.  

Love +