How To Stop The Worry Spiral

How To Stop the Worry Spiral

Have you ever found yourself down a worry spiral?

The one where it starts with just one thought and pretty soon, your mind has spent about 10 minutes of energy imagining all the other worst case scenarios?  

Me too.  

If you’re like me, though, sometimes you are in the spiral and you feel sucked in.  It’s like your comfort zone.  It feels so much better to worry about something you can’t control, right?

Wrong.  Friend – I can NOT begin to emphasize all the effects of those 10 minutes.  

It creates stress in your brain and on your body.  It is taking up 10 minutes of your life that you will never have back.  It creates negative energy that sticks around and shows up later.  It literally creates a physical response in your body like a tense head, shoulder, neck, & heart.  And when you don’t like the stress & the worry, your body decides to it wants sugar, alcohol, or social media to distract you.  

Which only creates a greater, negative net effect on you and your body.  

So what do we do?

  1. Connect with your body.

Really pay attention to it.  You can do this with yoga, mindfulness, or my 5 to 5.  Take 5 long seconds to observe your 5 senses.  Then check in with your body and how it feels.

2. Transform the worry into wisdom. 

I have a guide with 4 questions that take you from worry to wisdom.  You can get your free copy by emailing me.  (nataliewilsoncoaching@gmail.com)

3. Get your mind in shape. 

Start learning how to have mind & emotional fitness just like you need physical & spiritual fitness.

It’s so important for us to take care of ourselves and not with bubble baths and a candle – although those can be rewards and help create relaxing environments.  You have to take care of the small things.  The small 10 minute worry spirals.  Start today & let me know what you think.  

Right now, for the month of October only, I’m offering my free New Year’s Workshop: Live By Design to any new clients.  This online workshop is valued at $150 and will be scheduled early January.  Make sure to sign up this month! 

XO – Natalie

How To Tell Someone They Smell (When You’re a Nice Girl)

*This is an actual problem a client had.  No judgement! 

This is a legit problem to have, friends.  Either you are the one who smells or someone you know smells.  

Perhaps they don’t use deodorant for skin care purposes.  Perhaps they use one that isn’t strong enough to mask the bacteria.  Or perhaps they don’t care.  No matter what, they smell.  

So what’s a nice girl like you to do?  

You don’t like making people feel awkward or unliked.  You don’t want to hurt her feelings, right?  

So you either keep suffering around said smelly person, or you strap on your big girl boots and you…say something.  

How Do You Say Something?

First, you need to recognize that every person is responsible for their own emotions.  You are never in charge of someone else’s happiness, sadness, embarrassment, anger, etc.  

Second,  recognize you’re only responsible for your thoughts, emotions, and actions.  That’s all you get to control.  

Next, ask yourself what is the result you are wanting?  Obviously it is for her to not smell, but dig a little deeper. 

Is it to preserve the relationship?  Is it to protect her and let her know that her smell is being talked about?  Is it to help yourself so you can breathe around this person?

Once you know the outcome you want for yourself and for her, then decide what would you need to say (and not say) in order to get that result.  

How do you want to feel when you say it?  Loving, judgey, helpful, curious?  

Then ask yourself what thought would help me feel that way as I start the conversation?

And then practice that.  Practice thinking that thought, feeling that feeling, and saying what you would say to them.

When you say it, remember that if she is an adult, she gets to choose if she wants to listen. She gets to choose if she receives it with appreciation or anger or embarrassment. She gets to choose her feelings and her actions. Your part is done.

This might seem like a long process the first few times – or the first few 100 times – but it’s how you learn to not to take responsibility for someone else’s feelings, and still communicate with both freedom & love.

So go ahead…tell her she smells. You can do it.  

Still need help? You’ve been engrained in being a nice girl for SO.MANY.YEARS? That’s the work we do in your coaching journey. What if you could learn these processes and lose the old thinking, doubt, and worry? What if it really was about your brain and not about you as a person or anyone else? What if you could do it in 12 weeks?

This month I’m offering a 12 week program where we dig into this and make it happen. You will finally be able to communicate with confidence, say no, be able to turn people down and still maintain being a “nice” woman. If you buy in October, you’ll also get your free bonus access to my New Years Workshop: Making It Happen in 2020.

It’s Breaking The Nice Girl Rules: How To Get a Life You Want Without Becoming a Woman You Hate.

Email me – nataliewilsoncoaching@gmail.com and let’s get to work.  

Stop Fear – Using ‘What If’ To Help

Our brains are wired to keep us safe.  When we have to make a decision, it pops up with a lot of questions.  

What if it doesn’t work out?  What if I fail?  What if no one likes it?  What if I can’t do it?  

90% of our fears are tied in these negative imaginative scenarios.  

We never are asking “what if that bear eats me?”  “what if I can’t find food tonight for dinner?”  “what if my pack leaves and I get eaten by wolves?”  

Those are the questions your brain is created to ask to cause fear to cause you to fight or flight.  Thank you, Lord.  I don’t want to be eaten by bears. Or wolves.

But do you you see what is happening?  90% of your fears are a result of poor management of the mind.  

Fear – real fear – isn’t keeping you back, your mind is.  

Those What If Scenarios as they are happening right now aren’t helping you AT ALL.  

The first step to start flipping that pattern is that you must become aware of the thought patterns tied to your worry, fear, and anxiety.  That’s the first few weeks of work I do with my clients.  

Once you start becoming aware of how your thought patterns are interrupting your goals and forward action, the second step is you start learning to replace the thoughts. 

We switch the negative What If Scenarios for positive ones.  

What if I nail it?  What if I win?  What if I lose the weight? What if I hit my goal?  What if I love it?  What if everyone loves it?  What if it’s the best thing I’ve ever done?

Those will actually serve you.  They’ll inspire you. Inspire you to work, to try, to create, and to live.  

Those questions help you create what is possible instead of shutting down and staying stuck. 

For some thoughts, flipping them is just like flipping a switch.   For others, it takes time to create that new pattern.  

Either way, it’s worth it.  It’s worth the time and effort to stop living stuck and in fear and start living with inspiration.  

So friends, following up what I wrote yesterday – What if I went ALL IN?  I challenge you to start using What If Scenarios to serve you!